Stop searching for your other half. You’re whole already. 

I’m not searching for my other half, because I am not half.

Mind blown. Why did I feel pressure to search for my other half? As if I wasn’t fully and wholly enough just as is. As if there was something missing. Something needed to complete me, to complete my family.

Photo Credit: Steve Brandt at Creative Compassion Photography
A dear friend pointed this out to me a few months back, as I voiced how I longed for my son to witness me in a healthy marriage. For him to watch healthy interaction between a husband and wife. I voiced my concern of a man not being daily present in his life. That me, being only mom couldn’t teach my son the things a boy learns from watching a father. When that friend challenged me, I realized that even though I felt confident to raise my son on my own, I still struggled with being me, only one person. Only half of the typical two parents many children have present daily.

Society, and often times religion, like to impose the necessity of a partner to be considered complete. That idea that children need two parents to thrive. Not just that, there’s the stigma that both a male and female are needed. And I call bull–bullion cubes on that one! The reason I felt inadequate, is because I was told and made to believe that parenting alone is just that, an inadequate way to raise a child.

Photo Credit: Steve Brandt at Creative Compassion Photography
As people, we often follow in the direction others have proclaimed over us, or generalized over a group of people. It creates a cap on success, communicating a limit to the success rates. As if before we start we’ve already been proclaimed as a person destined to struggle. Because of that, we enter into situations expecting difficulty. Expecting to endure unnecessary hardships and trials.

I’m here today to tell you that through my personal experience I’ve learned that’s a lie. A freaking delusion. I orchestrated under a mindset of confidence but yet feeling inadequate because it’s me alone. Failing to see the very truth, that I’m far from missing my other half.

I arrived to the battlegrounds of single motherhood ready for just that, a battle. Preparing myself by scrounging for the tools to help defend against the hardships that I thought were bound for me in the dreaded roll of [insert blinking red sign] “Single Motherhood”.

Photo Credit: Steve Brandt at Creative Compassion Photography

As time went on I realized all I needed to do was just “be”. To change my mind set on my self. Open my mind to see my self the way I was designed. Whole! NOT half way complete. Only then I was able to see my self through that new identity, through His lens. One of kingdom identity. Where God proclaims over me that I am Enough. Through re-wiring my brain I saw that I was equipped. Designed to thrive. Made in His image, and through the union with Christ I lacked nothing. See, my dear friends, Christ bridges that gap for us. Where we lacked. We now lack nothing in Him. I don’t lack a half. Because with Him I’m whole. Single motherhood my booty. There’s nothing negative about this role. I’m a mom, there’s nothing single about what I do.

Photo Credit: Steve Brandt at Creative Compassion Photography
It doesn’t take a mom and a dad to raise a child. It doesn’t require two people, 4 hands. It requires loving humans, loving on the tiny human and breathing empowerment through Truth to parent them. I’m in no way dismissing the impact a village can have. I believe my village, the people that have lavished love and support on me, are the whispers of the Father’s heart. Reminding me I can do this–and why I can.

Single motherhood was never intended to be a burden. Not a hardship. It might be a result of a broken relationship. But that brokenness doesn’t continue into the next chapters role of continued parenting.

Nothing is broken about “single” parenting. It’s just an old mindset that needs to be rejuvenated to see things new.

Breathe deep and plant your foot down for that next step, confidently. You’re enough. I am enough. Because He is never lacking, and we lack nothing in Him!

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Super Mom Self Care 101: Part 1

The struggle is real! How to care for all those around us without running on empty.  I’ve been there and I know you probably have too. 

The first time I realized how critical this is was during my divorce. A newly single mom, stressed beyond words. Feeling like I was running on empty. I had forgotten in the chaos to take time for me.  

On my Column Hello World. It’s Me! at True-Conversations I am writing a two part series on self care and how us, as moms, can make that happen! 

 But the tricky thing is to make sure that we don’t lose ourselves. We need to carve time away each day for ME. Am I just “mama”? Or am I Sarah who’s favorite role she plays right now is “mama!” Yes! That is me, I am Sarah! And you, sweet friend, you are YOU! Who is also a mama! But who are You…

When you travel on a plane and the flight attendant instructs, ”In the event of an emergency… If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your own mask first, and then assist the other person.” I’ve realized that this is exactly how it is with motherhood. Here we are in chaos that surrounds us. The emergencies of the day might be toddler sized but they are there.

Head over to True-Conversations to finish reading! Look out for next weeks column on learning to Thrive while being Super Mom. 

Power of the Bikini 

Can we just be real for a moment. It’s the end of summer. Did you feel the pressure–to have that body ready, to look great with a solid ass and stomach “beach ready”? I’ve felt it. The ideal body, by a deadline. And if that deadline arrives, without the body having achieved that exact look, the fear of criticism clouds confidence to wear that bikini proudly.

Moms, heck women in general, why do we do this to ourselves! We hate on our bodies. Let’s be real, that’s what it is: hate.

The body I live in became something I felt wasn’t good enough. Yet it was strong enough to carry a tiny human, house it, and nurture it. Moms, we have so much to be proud of our body for! Yet, I’m guilty of picking out the flaws of my new mom body to focus on. I allowed those thoughts to consume me. But no longer.

10 months ago I made the choice to love my body. To see it through a new lens, a lens that many others saw it through already, yet I was not.. I was seeing it through lenses that had expectations that didn’t need to be there. 


So here’s my journey into loving my skin, my new body! Setting aside high expectations, extending grace, wearing proudly what I used to label as flaws.

Setting aside high expectations, extending grace, wearing proudly what I used to label as flaws.

Three years ago I gave birth to my son. I wanted to be a mom, I desired to bring life into this world. I never desired my body to change permanently, I didn’t give it permission. The “new baby” high wears off and I realized my body was nothing like I had wanted. But regardless of how we exercise, eat, etc during pregnancy, our bodies in many ways change in ways we have LITTLE control over. 


Even after baby is born, we can experience frustrations as women in our new post baby body. Our bodies are re figuring how to work, how to metabolize, our bodies have changed. In ways we couldn’t of prepared for or predicted.

This is something that has been so humbling to me. Prior to baby, I was fit, toned and had a flat stomach without that classic mama pouch. I lived at the beach weekly in a bikini. I never thought about finding a suit to camouflage the fact that, oh you know, I grew a human. Until I did grow and birth my precious son.


When I went shopping for a bikini I just wanted to wear whatever style I thought cute on the hanger, like I used to. But, I found myself trying on more than 14 different bikini bottoms simply discouraged of this new stomach that even once baby weight was gone, was still there. Most likely, this new belly isn’t going anywhere. I was hopeless, discouraged, and even angry at my body for not bouncing back.

“Cover it up, hide it. It’s time, I hit the moment that’s talked about… The moment I needed to accept the reality I’ll wear one piece suits from now on….” is what went through my mind. That was when I realized how damaging my mind set was. I felt I’d never look good enough again. My life dream of having a baby happened and now I felt inadequate in my appearance. I wanted hide the very evidence that I carried that child.

I am living my life dream, I’m a mom. My body is strong, capable, and beautiful. I worked my ass off to get back into shape and finally after 2 years post baby, I was at pre birth weight. Who cares if my stomach isn’t to an old ideal of “perfect”.

It’s perfect for this chapter in my life. It’s perfect to remind me of Life. The life that my body grew and nurtured for 9 months. My new body is perfectly imperfect, by my OLD expectations. But my new expectations are to love myself, be proud, and confident in this body for what it’s done and how it keeps up with an ever active toddler.

It’s perfect for this chapter in my life. It’s perfect to remind me of Life.


Perfectly beautiful is: confidently stepping on the beach, not just accepting my new body, but embracing it. Loving it because beauty isn’t defined by 6 pack abs, beauty is defined by the beholder. Proudly wearing my bikini to empower other women that YES, you too are anything but flawed from growing a human.


I want to say to those of you who feels less then perfect, like you’ll never obtain the prior pregnancy self: You are beautiful, your body ran the marathon of pregnancy. The last thing your body deserves is to be hidden, out of shame and self criticism. Instead, it should be worn victoriously. Carrying and birthing a baby is an extremely strenuous thing on a woman’s body. You mama, crossed the finish line in that extensive race.

You are beautiful, your body ran the marathon of pregnancy. The last thing your body deserves is to be hidden, out of shame and self criticism. Instead, it should be worn victoriously.


Let’s celebrate that victory with saying “bye-bye” to shame and buying a cute bikini to display this body who won that race! And when I see you, a fellow mama at the beach, I’ll smile a big smile as we pass. Because I honor you, and I join with you in loving our new bodies! I join you in displaying to our kids what beauty is all about.

And when I see you, a fellow mama at the beach, I’ll smile a big smile as we pass. Because I honor you, and I join with you in loving our new bodies! I join you in displaying to our kids what beauty is all about.


I had a great bikini body before, but now it’s a new kind of great bikini body. Our kids think we are the most beautiful women. Why can’t we see that and live that?


Don’t work out at the gym for that beach bikini body. Work out at the gym to be strong enough to run around for hours on the sand with your babies and kids. Most importantly, your worth isn’t in your body, or it’s strength. 


(Photo credits: Steven Brandt and Wilhelmi Studios) 

Father’s Day when you are a Single Mom. 

Someone asked me how will I celebrate Father’s Day. My response. “With my Dad. Him, my son and I are going hiking.” I knew what they meant though. They were not asking that. 

But truth be told. As a single mom. With her childs father across the country.  That has minimal contact…. how does one respond. I’ve thought about this a lot. Because the first two Father’s Days were tough. 

Let me be clear. I’m not bashing or taking down to fathers who live far away from their children. I know many fathers including my son’s, who love their children even through the miles. 

Father’s Day, can be mixed with emotions for single mothers. Disappointment, feeling lost with a lack of responses to questions, dreams washed away of watching kids celebrate as they sit in their Dads lap as he opens gifts… The sadness to know your kids won’t have that. 

As a single mom, life is fairly fast paced. Juggling being mom, breadwinner, care taker, and handling all errends and details in between. With lack of much sleep. So most days I forget it’s just my son and I. I forget we are lacking a 2nd parent in the home. But this day is different always. 

The reality is with the age of my son, and the little contact he has with his Father, its a confusing day for him to understand. He still doesn’t grasp what “Dad” means.

Being a single mom, I’ve been honored on this day by some. If you go by traditional gender rolls, sure, I play both Mom and Dad to keep our lives moving. But, I’m really just a Mom, working double time. I’m not a Father, I’ll never be a Dad. 

Regardless of the things I do for my son. The sports I play with him. The afternoon wrestling games. The sword fights. The specific designated talks I have with my son, that typically a father would have. The one women show when it comes to being a disciplinarian… But still, I’m not a Father. It’s important to note: A mother can do all those things too, just as well. 

Yet, the void, the lack of a daily present father is still felt. My son feels it, even though he’s never known anything different then it just being Mom at home with him. I feel it too, in being a single parent. The void is felt, especially on this holiday. So please, don’t wish me happy Father’s Day. I don’t feel like a Father, and I’m not a Father. 

I’m just a Mom raising her son. Doing whatever needs to be done. Doing whatever it takes to raise him to be an honorable, respectful man in society. One who loves others. Respects both his parents regardless of dynamics. But most of all, I’m raising him to know his worth. Who he is in Christ. His sonship to a Heavenly Father. 

So on this Father’s Day we will call his Dad, and honor him as we will say happy Father’s Day. Every father is important. Irreplaceable. A role a child looks up to, seeks affirmation and love from. 

Although dynamics in our story might be different then planned, it is one we learn to embrace. As a single mother who watches her son grow up with out the daily interaction with his Father, I find comfort that he knows he’s loved! 

Today on Father’s Day, we also celebrate the men who act as role models for my son. We thank God for His roll as a Heavenly Father that we look to for provision, and seek wisdom from, as we lavish in His great love. The love that is ever present in our lives. 

To those single Moms out there. Regardless of the dynamics. Regardless of the past hurt, pain, maybe bitterness felt especially on a day meant to honor fathers, encourage you to not forget this day. Single Moms, you do by traditional roles, often times play both parents. And holy cow it’s not easy, I know! Instead of focusing on the pain, focus on the way this day can be another day to bond with your child through go doing the other person who helped bring them into this world.  Because no matter how your child’s father plays a current role in their life… They played the biggest role in blessing you with that sweet life you hold on your arms. 

Even if you can’t watch your son/daughter embrace their Fathers love today. Even if can’t have that dream on this Holliday, know that their Heavenly Father is ever present, with an unending love. 

Father’s Day doesn’t have to look like Hallmark pictures. You are the author of how to best spend Father’s Day with your children. Make it a great one, don’t hide in your home waiting for it to pass. 

To the Tired Toddler Mama

Dear sweet Mama’s of those tiny toddler humans,

You’re worn. You’re drained. Your heart strings are so pulled and stretched out. Beaten down with discouragement. Feeling like the light at the end of the toddler stage is just too far away. Defeated. Sleepy beyond the Zombie stage. Maybe just plain clueless at what you should try next. Concerned you’re failing.

I understand. I’ve been there. At some point on those tough days we all have a little moment of “I just don’t know what to do.” Then the questioning our selves might try to seep in.

Let me tell you though dear tired Mama. You are enough!

Right now, in this moment, in this challenge of raising that tiny human, you are ENOUGH! You are strong. Resilient. Beautiful. Equipped. Talented. Loving. Capable. An Overcomer. Tough. Amazing.

Right now in this moment, in this challenge of raising a tiny human, you are ENOUGH!

 You were designed with a love that loves deeply, unconditionally even through the loud yells of “no” as they refuse to nap on a day you needed it just as much as they did after the rough morning. You were designed by Love for love. You are a Mother!

Through out history, women have been shown to be strong!  The ones to hold a home together when chaos surrounds and seems to engulf it. You’re amazing just like those many women who have gone before you.

Being a mother is tough. No secret there. But you are tougher. Everything you need for this moment, you have with in you. Be brave mama. Be brave, reach down deep for that last bit of energy. It’s there.

Use your village. Don’t isolate your self during those movements of what seem like pure survival mode. And reach out for that village of friends, and fellow mamas, the novice mamas.

Have grace. Not just on the little tiny rambunctious humans running around at your feet. Have grace on the situation. Most of all though, have grace on your self! You’re a super women, but a human one.

Most of all though, have grace on your self!

 Breath. Time is fleeting. Fast. Might seem like it’s dragging on… Never ending. But this time all too soon will be a tiny speck in the rear view mirror of motherhood. Breathe.

Embrace the challenge. Embrace the opportunity for growth. Embrace the time of extra sweet snuggles even on the day that your list was longer then time allowed for. Even on those days your overstimulated and just don’t want ANYONE touching you. Embrace the tiny moments of calm. They might be tiny. But embrace the oasis.

Be confident because you are capable. You will be victorious over yet another chapter in raising that tiny human that was designed just for you to raise, guide and love! Again, you are love dear mama, made from Love!

Thrive! You can thrive during these sleepless nights, runny noses from endless winter sickness, testy tiny human who is just reaching for affirmation in every way in everything, the little who’s not eating anything besides grapes just because. Don’t just think you have to learn to survive in these trials. Learn to thrive in them!

You’re worth is so powerful in those moments. Your value in the little ones eyes is that you are a hero to them… Wait till the tantrum stops, even after they were so angry they still see you as a hero. Even after you broke their heart saying it was time to leave the zoo, they still think you are lots of fun. Even on the days that you just couldn’t get that make up all on, only had 3 minutes to spare since your day started on yesterday’s list of things to do, they still think you are the most beautiful mama. Thrive. Thrive in that worth, the value that not just you were created by Love and loved by Him, but that your tiny humans love you, probably more then anything else. Regardless of the tough week(s), your the best mama in their eyes. You are all they need in that moment. Thrive knowing that! And if they could express just that in their tiny yet loud vocabulary, I know they would.

Those tiny humans would say. ..

Thank you mama! You’re doing great! I wish I could understand what all was going on during these times of growth in my mind and body. But  even though you don’t understand either, you are always there. Thanks for always being there, because I need you, a lot right now.  Thanks for always giving me everything you have to give and more. I believe in you.  I love you, and that super hero cape! I want one just like it one day, to be just like you!

– Your tired, energetic, maybe cranky, confused, growing, smart, born for greatness Tiny Toddler Human

 (Image by: Steven Brandt)